In a heart-wrenching Facebook post, performer Jim Beaver( “Supernatural, ” “Deadwood”) described being molested by a superior while serving in the U.S. military. But, as he poignantly noted, the #MeToo motion wasn’t to generate people like him. And that’s OK.
The #MeToo hashtag has flooded Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter in recent periods as millions of women have shared their personal experiences with sexual harassment and assault, adding ” #MeToo” in their posts as an act of solidarity. The hashtag ran viral after dozens of survivors came forward, alleging movie mogul Harvey Weinstein had harassed, assaulted, and raped them.
On Facebook, Beaver explained why, even though male survivors of sex crime like himself certainly deserve to be heard, chiming in on this movement specifically is not necessarily the time or place.
In his post, Beaver first describes his own painful experiences overcoming sexual assault.
“As a young Marine, I was repeatedly molested by a high-ranking policeman, a Navy doctor who used his position at first to fool a naive teen into believing what the fuck is up was standard procedure, ” the actor wrote. Although Beaver was fortunate enough to be able to rid himself of the situation, he didn’t report the officer 😛 TAGEND
“I often wonder what would have become of me had I saw it necessary to report him. Would I have been believed? Would my military prospects have suffered? Would I have found myself in danger? All these questions came to me afterward, because I was fortunate enough to flee the situation without having to put my enlisted-man term up against that of an admiral.”
Then, Beaver nailed why you can’t separate gender from the overarching issue of sexual assault.
“As a boy, I personally cannot, despite my own experience, quite bring myself to join in with a ‘Me, too, ‘ even though I discover some boys doing so, ” he wrote:
“I respect and subsistence any man who has been sexually misused or sexually bullied. But what seems to have taken the world, at long last, by cyclone in the past few days is most prominently an issue for women, because while many men have been victimized in such manner, the pain truth is that we live in a world because women are* expected* to put up with such things.”
And then he delivered the kicker: “The clear likelihood is that had the current tenant of the White House been caught boasting to a TV reporter about molesting men, ” Beaver wrote, “he would never have become president. But since it was just wives, well, boys will be boys.”
The actor touched on a crucial degree: Sexual harassment against girls is so commonplace, it’s more surprising if a woman doesn’t experience it at some degree in her lifetime.
Women are overwhelmingly the victims of sexual violence in the U.S. Research suggests approximately 1 in 6 ladies has survived an attempted or completed rape, while 1 in three women have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. The issue cuts through racial and social lines, too, as people of color, transgender individuals, and those with physical disabilities( among other marginalized groups) are at increased risks of experiencing sexual violence.
To be sure, sexual violence targeting men and boys is a true concern; approximately 14% of rape victims are male, and researchers are worried that figure could be higher, as sexual violence against boys and men remain under-reported. In the aftermath of the Weinstein allegations, celebrities like Terry Crews and James Van Der Beek have spoken out about these experiences overcoming sexual abuse and harassment; they surely deserve to be heard too.
But the #MeToo hashtag was meant to glisten a light on the alarming frequency girls are forced to endure this type of inexcusable behaviour. It shouldn’t take a overflow of Facebook posts from ladies vulnerably recapping their experiences of sex crime for the world to ultimately care. We need to listen when they tell us their stories the first time — not 30 years later.
Beaver capped off his viral post by noting what he will do instead of chiming in using the #MeToo hashtag.
“Since I’m not comfy taking on what seems most appropriately a rallying cry for women standing up against a repugnant status quo, I won’t say, “Me, too, ‘” he wrote. “I’ll say, ‘I believe you.'”
Believing is just the beginning. Men shouldn’t sit paralyzed at their computers, scrolling through #MeToo tales, wondering how to assist. They should donate to organizations attaining real change. They should start having conversations with other humen, reaffirming that , no, “locker room talk” isn’t harmless banter — it often apologizes sexual violence. They should learn about the intersectional issues that affect women and other marginalized groups. They should commit to caring about sex crime long after the countries of the world forgets about a viral hashtag.
Because, guys, this really is on us.
Need help? You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline right now at 800 -6 56 -HOPE( 4673) or discover more here.